A few weeks ago, I posted a TikTok posing this question to writers:
Are you telling a story, or are you writing up the alt text of the movie that’s playing in your head?
Some writers tend to focus almost entirely on the external when writing, often leaving context via narrative interiority by the wayside. When this coincides with an overabundance of external action, sometimes called “stage direction,” it can feel like we’re reading descriptive alt text instead of an actual story. At a minimum, the reader’s connection to character will suffer. At worst, the reader will get bored and close the book.
I’ve since followed up with videos (and a blog post!) about braiding interiority into prose and varying narrative style, but have also received questions about what scenes look and feel like when they’re just alt-text-like.
To that end, I’ve typed up and taken screenshots of a relatively* random page from Naomi Novik’s A Deadly Education, the first book in a YA Fantasy trilogy.
*It wasn’t entirely random because Novik’s character is quite chatty and tends to editorialize, so I chose a page where external action created more of a braided style.
The first screenshot is the story as Novik wrote it. The second screenshot has everything except the ‘alt-text’ blacked out.
Any typos are mine.
Now let’s check out the alt-text version:
Yikes, that’s a lot of context gone, right?
And that’s precisely the issue with alt-text narration. Because it focuses primarily on stage direction and (sometimes) physical interiority (ie: stomachs clenching and hearts beating), it tends to leave us with a relatively shallow understanding of what’s going on in a given scene. Since this page is from the first few chapters of A Deadly Education, that missing context would be a huge missed opportunity for Novik, who managed to work worldbuilding, character development, and backstory in between lines of action in order to enrich the reader’s understanding of the story.
Hope this helps provide a stronger visual for anyone wondering what I mean when I talk about “alt-text,” stage direction, or interiority — and feel free to hit me up in the comments with any questions.
-Cee
PS: Did you know I write a monthly blog post (and record a monthly video) just for Patrons at the AuthorShip+ tiers? I also give priority to answering patron questions about craft here, on discord, or via TikTok/PatreonVideo (if questions are best answered verbally). Check out my tiers to see if membership is right for you 🙂